Friday, March 11, 2011

Once upon a time you realized there was a monster under the rug.

[pic of rug with not inconsiderable bulge in middle]

You got the nail gun out straight away, but understood that if you nailed the bulge you'd only tack the rug to a very angry monster.

[pic of you with nail gun, considering bulge]

So you ingeniously tacked the rug down all around the edges so the monster had nowhere to go.

[pic of rug all nailed down around the edges]

And set to kicking the living crap out of the monster.

[pic of you putting the boots to the bulge]

When suddenly...

[pic of quivering bulge, with word balloon]

BULGE: (mama)

Your heart melted. How could you be so horrible? Surely even the worst monsters are merely misunderstood! You began to pry the nails loose to make amends...

[pic of bulge near an open end of the rug, with a li'l baby doll face peeking out from under with word balloon]

BABY FACE: mama

For surely we will all learn a valuable lesson from your mistake.

[pic of monster rearing up, throwing rug off, a mass of tentacles and folded insect legs, rows of shiny black eyes and scything mouthparts, a child's baby doll held carelessly upside down in a curled, dripping tongue]

TOY DOLL: mama